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Friday, January 28, 2011

nk tulis ke x...nk luah ke x..

memandangkan blog aku ni pn xberapa aktif, so aku rasa selamat kot aku luahkan kt cni.

semenjak 2 menjak ni, dalam hati ni xboleh duduk diam. sumenye berpunca drpd training kt PNB. there's nothing wrong with the training. d training is good. so good. but some of the staffs' status make me felt worried la dear....

at first, i dont care at all about thing like bf or lover but now i really damn care about it. but it is not yet at 'desperate' level..hahahha

bukan la dlm kelompok yg ramai tp some of them hold the 'andalusia' tittle. im sorry to say that but that was a fact. most of them are not married even their age 30++. they good looking, smart, have money, well manner and so on. so wat is the problem?
mane laki2 kt dunia ni... kalo org mcm dorg pn ssh nk kawen, aku yg korok ni apetah lg.. adussss..

sume tu bwt aku sedar yg aku kne start bkk langkah. nt sume kawan dah kawen, aku sorg plak yg terkontang kanting.

ok..enough with dat, now the 'bkk langkah' story will start.
aku ni jenis yg ssh skit nk terjatuh suke kt lelaki... kalo aku dah suke sorg tu, aku mmg suke dan sanggup tok jadikan die bf aku tp kalo aku anggap si die sebagai kawan je, mmg kawan je la. xsanggup nk jdkan bf..

perasaan tu tetibe timbul plak kt seorg jejaka yg xberapa ensem tp boleh la. ade X factor kot. perkenalan bermula di 'tteeeeeetttt'.......(nama tmpt adalah rahsia).
mule2 tgk mmg xsuke. xtawu nape tetibe xsuke, sesedap rasa je xnk suke kt org..dah lelame tu suke la plak tgk.. sbb suka adalah kerana personaliti si die. sgt tegas dan serius. mmg memukau...

selama mengusha tu xpenah pn tegur sbb segan..xtawu mcm ner nk mulakan.. si die pn mcm xde interest je nk ckp ngn aku...yela kan.. aku ni nobody..
dah lame mengusha, satu ari mmg sampailah hajat tu nk bercakap.. ckp la kami sepuas-puasnye.. sampai tumpah2 air.. time tu aku teruja sgt sebenarnye.. mcm xnk berhenti tp kne cool, jgn smpai si dia perasan.. si dia plak mcm excited sgt berborak. 'xsgka byk jgk ko bercakap ye labu.. aku igt ko ni pendiam sgt...'

start dr situla kami mula rapat sikit. berfacebook la..msg la. aku mmg suke tp kne sabar. sbb aku xtawu status die ni. ade gf ke die, single ke, widow ke...ntah la..
selepas beberapa ketika nmpknye mcm aku plak yg beriya2..aku plak yg msg die dlu.. dia xplak nk msg aku... ok mybe he had gf so he dont have much time to spend with me. kecewa sikit. ok its fine. bukan sume benda yg kite nk tu, kite akn dpt. risik2 punye risik, ok clear he still single. ak ade peluang dowh...omg. sumetime he said he bz with the projects. not direct to me but via facebook. i know dat post is not for me, but i like to imagine dat post is really for me.(omg..wat kind of girl i am right now..damnit)...

even this simple thing i cant handle so wat will happen to me in the future.. pathetic to myself. aku nk bercerita lg tp xberani sbb takut si empunya badan tertawu. byk sgt sebenarnye dis and dat but my hand are really tight to keep typing the words..

i think till right now, mcm bertepuk sebelah tgn. ok lah, have to think positive. mybe he is not for me and i am not for him. stop!!

ily, from now on u have to forget all the epi ending dat u wish. have someone better waiting for u outside. just be patient and relax. u are not so bad. u good, pretty, talented, and charming. kalo lelaki tu xnk kt aku, dorg yg rugi, not me..

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